Wow, I related to this a lot. So sorry to hear about the trauma you went through. I spent literally years getting over my own trauma. I can tell you something that I got wrong for a long time though. I always felt like it was me against the world. But when I started to shift my thinking away from myself and see things from other people's point of view it made an amazing amount of difference. Takes a lot of practice. Hope that you can heal and get to a better place!